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I zoo

3 September? Today? Now? Ooh.

So this is really it – the day that has been in preparation for a good two-and-a-half years is today, and it still doesn’t quite seem real.

Did we really go for a lovely meal with our friends last night in Leicester Square, or is it a false memory brought on through long-term planning and visualising? Well, if it did really happen, we had a great evening, and were only sorry that we had to leave earlier than most in order to get home in time to sort out some last-minute stuff. Thanks to everyone for coming, assuming they really did.

Before that, I think we had a meeting with the half of the best men who isn’t a doctor and could therefore make it, and all the bridesmaids, to talk through the day and make sure everyone knew what was happening when. And I believe that earlier in the day we’d dropped off all the stuff at the zoo and run through a few things there, including testing the music system, which could really have done with a bit more bass (bring on the Winamp Equalizer, hopefully).

What we know definitely did happen – which we can be sure of because it wasn’t something we’d envisaged or planned – was that Martin’s hired suit trousers were more skin-tight than an undersized leotard. (Although Rosy did compliment the appearance of Martin’s rear while he was wearing them, so it wasn’t all bad.) Burton’s informed us that they had another pair in in the next size up, by excellent fortune, so we raced over there in what little time we had, only to find that the bloke had just ‘assumed’ it was some completely different (and rather ugly) trousers, ‘when you said it was a wedding’. We weren’t exactly impressed, nor by his standards of customer service, telling us he couldn’t ‘promise anything’, but he’d see if they could order some in for today. He could, but he neglected to mention at this stage that they offered a home delivery service, which on the wedding day would have been rather useful. It was only when my mum had her excellent Mrs. Angry conversations with them, several times, that they finally agreed to bring the trousers out to us, personally (presumably as a preferable alternative to her final proposal of them paying for taxis for Martin to collect them).

So this morning we’ll be taking delivery of those, as well as having a mass trip to the hairdresser’s, picking up buttonholes and Edith’s bouquet from the florist and double- and triple-checking that we have every last thing we need for today! Oh, and putting on our wedding clothes.

This is all assuming the wedding is really today. The calendar may suggest that it is, as may a range of other evidence, but at least until we’re standing in front of a roomful of people, reeling off our vows, I’m not sure we’ll believe it.

If you’re reading this before setting off: see you soon, and we really hope that every one of our guests has a brilliant day. We’ve been honoured to have our wedding called ‘Best Wedding Ever’ by one guest before it’s even happened. If those are the kind of descriptions we get afterwards, our work here is done. Here’s hoping for a thoroughly enjoyable day for all concerned.

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